No.165311
Do any other khhv's easily make fantasies in their head about really perverse, dark, and for some damn reason ethereal or deep things relating to the concept of sex, love, and marriage? I often think of living lives with dead people like Alyssa Bustamante and on top of having a fuck ton of kinky sex we live together for many years and before we start to age too much she kills me wearing nothing but a cat ear headband, arm warmers, and thigh highs. When I have a big crush on someone I stare at them the entire day, I really wonder how they don't notice because I don't remember anything else from those days except staring at them. I mentioned this in a past post but I often create really weird fantasies about girls I just see for seconds, that I don't even have a crush on and it's melting my mind. I have lots of terrible experiences in life so is that why my mind is fried? It cant possibly be that bad. I'm neurotypical as I haven't been diagnosed though I act neurotypical even if I am a social outcast. My weird sexual desires are often existential, involving fantasizing about things I could never have and them fulfilling all my problems in life. They are all so weirdly deep it's quite literally impossible to explain. Does anyone know why this happens? I am pretty young and still in k-12 schooling so maybe the social environment is why this happens but that is only my guess.
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